I have a very wise Pastor (Pastor Bob) whom I seek Godly wisdom from and he has helped shape my relationships with my wife and sons. One of Bob’s greatest pieces of Wisdom that he passed on to me was on the Making of the Bed. *This is my version of the story – It seems that in Bob’s earlier days of his Pastoral work, he would have to work about 32 hours a day – when he would come home after his very hard day at work – he would go into the bed room and the bed was never made. This bothered him so much that one day after a very hard day at work he approached his wife and in his anger proceeded to tell her how much he disapproved of this practice and that he would like some changes to be made (namely the bed). Bob has a very wise wife – she just looked at him and wisely stated “Bob if it bothers you so much that the Bed is not made – then Make it – I am OK with the way it is”. Can you see where this is going….
Well I went home that afternoon (My wife did not make the bed either) and I proceeded to make my Half of the Bed and not hers… When Diane got home and noticed this – she gave me this puzzled look and asked about it… OK – here is comes – I could finally tell her that I wanted the bed made – so in all my wisdom and courage, I said… “Pastor Bob told me to do it!!!”
The real wisdom of this story is: As Husbands or Dads (or just being a guy) – There are several things that will bother us about someone or something that we get very angry about – which will lead to extreme problems in our relationships and even our health. About 95% of the time the problem is not with the other person – but with us. First of all we need to do a personal check on ourselves and see who really has the problem – normally it will be us – so we just need to fix it (make the bed if it really bothers you). I share this bit of wisdom allot with the guys that I am around because there is so much healing in our relationships when we focus on the real problem – we must communicate with ourselves and correct it.
I do need to tell you that this has been a life saver in my marriage – work – raising my sons and friendships. I do a reality check on myself allot…… there is one more piece of Wisdom that came out of this — EVERYONE NEEDS A PASTOR TO BLAME… so when you do not have a great answer or are in one of those situations that you need to get out of – just state “Pastor Bob Told me to do it… “ IT Works.